The other day a got news that a little baby girl who I had met just before I came back to MN passed away. This sweet little girl was only 15 days old when I met her and a little over 4 lbs. Her mom passed away 10 days after giving birth. From what I was told the little girl had been sick since Saturday but the women taking care of her didn't bring her to our clinic until Tuesday. The little girl was severely dehydrated. They tried to start an IV but couldn't. They rushed her to the nearest hospital as soon as they could arrange transportation, but sadly she died before she received any treatment.
WHY?! HOW?!
These are the situations that make my heart hurt and fill me with anger, frustration and a deep sadness. There is no reason this little one should have died from things so treatable. The lack of knowledge and understanding is causing little ones to die. THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN.
Having held this little baby in my arms just days before I left and knowing that she won't be there when I return makes me so incredibly sad. It breaks my heart but also puts this deep burning desire in my heart to do something and do more. I can't turn my back on these precious faces and these people that I have grown to love.
I have gone through an array of emotions since behind home for this extend period of time and through it all it has solidified my deepest desire to simply do more. I can't just sit back and pretend to live a great, happy, perfect life here. Don't get me wrong, it has been wonderful being back here in MN and being able to connect with so many people and have throughly enjoyed the nice conveniences of life here, but I'm not called to live a life of convenience.
A lot of people have asked me what I'm doing with my life. And to be honest I don't have a detailed plan of that, but I do know that I am going to try to make a difference. I am going to do my best to love on the Haitian people and help them to live a better life. I don't know when I'll get married, when I'll move back to MN but do I have to have all the answers? I've always lived a little outside the box and probably because so many people wanted me to live inside the box.
The situations like this one of this sweet little girl remind me that even through the most devastating and difficult times I must be anchored in hope. Anchored in the fact that God has a perfect plan. Anchored in my faith. Anchored in the trust that God is going to take care of me and this sweet little girl. I'm heart broken and angry but today I am also ANCHORED IN HOPE.
Please say a little prayer for this sweet little girls father, grandmother and all those who loved her in her short little life. She has changed me.
A very fitting Jesus Calling for where my heart is today.
