My SISTER in HAITI

My sister is on her way to Haiti!! 

The day has come…it is hard to believe that it is actually happening and I feel like I’ve been so busy and overwhelmed with other things going on (will need a new blog post for all of that) that I really haven’t had much time to process it….BUT today MY SISTER is going to be in HAITI with ME!!!

If any of you know us, we couldn’t be more different, but yet often get asked if we are twins. For those of you who don’t know us….I could live life without planning out a single thing (probably why I can handle living in Haiti!) and my sister on the other hand likes to have everything planned out or at least know what is going on. So first of all the fact that she made the decision to come here-kind of on a whim and with only about 3 weeks to prepare is a miracle in and of itself! Also the fact that she really doesn’t know what to expect or how our week is going to look is not like her—miracle number two! Also when I asked her about the week and tried to plan a day for us; she had no preference as to what it looked like (and to be honest I still don’t either ;) ) but that is not like her!! Miracle number 3! She hasn’t even gotten to Haiti and God is already doing miracles! :)

Rhonda and I at the Sweetheart ball in February--this was a surprise visit home for me it was great....for her I think she was more stressed about not knowing that I was coming home, but of course ecstatic that I was home!   

I can’t begin to explain what this means to me and how excited I am to share my love for Haiti with her. I can’t wait for her to experience the sights, the sound, the smells, the foods, and the touches of the Haitian people. Haiti is a place that I love dearly and my heart breaks for daily, but it is also a place where I see God all around and today I get to share that with my sister! My heart is overflowing with joy and excitement right now!

Its hard to really get an understand of Haiti just through the pictures—which she has seen a lot of—but today those pictures are going to be her reality. She is going to see the Haitian people, see the poverty, experience the love that overflows from you for a child that isn’t yours and you don’t even know the name of, but you do know that they need love and a tender touch. Today Haiti will be reality and I undoubtedly know that it will change her life and the way she looks at those pictures forever.

God has an amazing week planned out for us and no matter; it will be great.  Please pray over this week with me. Pray that God would break our hearts, He would protect us and keep us safe, He would have His way with us, He would put people in our paths who need us, He would keep us healthy, He would defeat satan and satan would not have any footholds this week, He would open our eyes to new things, He would speak to us daily, and that HE would be our Guide and our Rock for anything that comes at us this week.

Today is the start of an amazing week and week that I have longed for many many many months! 

                                                   (patiently waiting for you Brian...) :) 

Be still

As I read Sarah Young this morning it hit me square in the head! She always has a way of writing just what I need to hear.

Lately I have been busy 'planning' what my next year will look like...stay in Haiti or go back...I think I know the answer but I've been busy trying to plan what it looks like and if it will work.

Thankful for the reminder this morning to be still and know that He is God and to rest in His presence but to also respond to every circumstance with affirmations of trust.

As I pray about my future will you pray with me? That His will be done not mine, that He will lead and I will follow and that He would continue to make it clear which path to go down and also to trust Him in all things which ever path He may lead me on.

joys and heart-aches

The joys and the heart-aches of being a missionary.... or maybe more so being an American in a third world country. I'm learning everyday about being a missionary and 'doing life in Haiti' and I know I  don't have all the answers and more than likely I do many things the wrong way and I'm sure many times I have done more harm the helping. But I'm learning and God continues to mold me and shape me.

I find that in many situations its becoming easier for me to say no when asked for money or items. I hate that and it sounds so cruel, but at the same time in most of the situations I know that I wouldn't necessarily be helping them. Yes by giving them money I might be able to help them buy food for their family, but is that really what they are going to use the money for? 

The man who comes to the gate and wants money to help pay for his son's funeral...my heart breaks...but is it really true? It's easy to ask American's for money but as soon as I sent Pastor Wesley, a Haitian, down there to talk to the man; things were different. Pastor Wesley didn't even believe the man that his son died after talking with him and asking him questions. 

How do you know who to help and who not to help? Of course I'd love to help everyone that comes to our gates but realistically we can't. It breaks my heart. 

Perfect example of a heart breaking situation yesterday. As many of you know I have a heart for children with special needs. Yesterday a lady that I know and her friend came to us with this boy and asked us to take him in. The one lady had been caring for him for several years after his father said he didn't want him anymore and now she feels that she isn't able to care for him either. He was the sweetest little boy and was just adorable. I tried to explain to them that first of all we don't have any space for more boys at Grace Village. Second of all we are not equipped or have the right people in place to help care for this boy. I so badly wanted to take him into my own house and love on him and care for him. But I knew it would not be wise to have him come live with me. But why Lord did you bring this little boy into my life? Why did you bring him here to tug on my heart strings only to have to tell him no. I don't want to turn the cheek and walk away like it was no big deal and someone else will care for him because realistically in Haiti children like him are not cared for and are looked down upon. I just wonder why? I have to trust there was a reason for it and maybe some day I will know and maybe I won't. I just have to have faith. 

Please say a little pray for this little boy! 

 But then on the complete other side of things there are the stories and situations in which I am filled with so much joy!

 On Monday we were able to take in two little girls from another orphanage. The girls are sisters and are 3 and 5 years old. Sadly the 5 year old weighs the same as her 3 year old sister and is only a couple inches taller. Heart breaking situation, but this time we can say YES and we CAN help them. Why them I ask why not the other children we have come in contact with? Again I don't have the answer to 'why' but I do know that I have to trust it is God's perfect plan for these little girls and for Grace Village.

When they first came they were a little scared and not quite sure what to think. We had them all checked out and started them on medications and took them to get some labs completed.

A few short hours later they we laughing and talking up a storm! The kids love them and take so much pride in being able to help them! 

Nothing but smiles! 

They even got a nice little nap in during the day! :)

Please pray for this adorable little girls too! 

I don't have the answers as to why God does certain things or why he brings certain people into our lives, but I do know that we have to have Faith and Trust in what HE is doing and pray for wisdom, guidance and discernment in every situation we encounter. Not only in Haiti, but where ever you are. 

Tragedy to TRIUMPH

Tragedy to TRIUMPH

I can say that this past week was one of the most difficult weeks I have had in a long time. Being a missionary in general is difficult; learning and dealing with a completely different culture never seems to be easy--even when I think I start to understand something I realize quickly that I still don’t “get it.” I need to continually remind myself that I will never understand I just have to accept it as it is and do the best that I can. As a missionary I have done and dealt with more things than I ever thought I would or was able to. By the grace of God, He continues to equip me and provides me with the knowledge, wisdom and resources that I need. I am so thankful for that!

Not only is being a missionary hard in the cultural aspect but also maintaining relationships back in the states is difficult. I will be the first to admit that I have not been the best at making every effort to maintain these relationships and could come up with a million excuses as to why I haven’t but that’s exactly it; they are excuses.

As a missionary the question is always ‘how long have you been here?’ ‘How long are you going to stay?’ Well if I knew the answer I would be jumping for joy!!  Thinking about my future this week and all the decisions I have to make and figure out where GOD is calling me to be and what HE is calling me to do has been heavy on my heart. Sometimes I just wish God would yell at me and say do this—even though it looks crazy and difficult and people are going to think you are crazy DO THIS! It doesn’t always workout that way unfortunately. ;)

Over the last 9 months (I know can you believe I have been here for 9 months!!) I felt that I have been pretty even keeled with my emotions. But this last week the tears came streaming down my face. For the things that I was facing in a third world country, for my relationships back home, for the day in and day out trials and joys of living at Grace Village, and for being extremely blessed to live in Haiti and the people who God has placed in my life who continually bless me beyond anything I deserve. I cried sad tears, happy tears, lonely tears, joyful tears, and many tears of how God continues to provide for me and be my Rock even in difficult times.

Last night I decided that I needed to have some “me” time and be filled with the WORD in words that I could actually understand. It had been months since I attend Port au Prince Fellowship Church-an American church where many missionaries go-and I knew I needed it. Again God provided the means for me to get there. It of course was just what I needed.

I was reminded that no matter what season I am in, HE is there. God is always there; all I need to do is lean on Him. He will not abandon me. I can always expect that when I overcome one trial eventually there will be another—the devil is not going to let me get away that easy—but God is already there. With every tragedy there is triumph, I just need to open my eyes to it and let God be my Rock.

Although this week was a struggle, today I was lifted and filled and reminded how much I love my life here and the work that God has me doing and what He is doing in me as well. Today there was TRIUMPH in my struggles.

I am continuing to offer my life to the LORD! 

Who wouldn’t be lifted up with all these cute little kiddos to love on everyday!! I am blessed no matter and God has my future in the palm of HIS hands. 

new additions to our family :)

We have had lots of stuff happening here at Grace Village!! But best of all we are blessed to be able to provide a new home for two children. 

Meet Elisena 

Elisena is as sweet as they come. When I first met her she greeted me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. She was all smiles and seemed so excited to be coming with us. When we were in the truck on our way to Dr. Sem's to get the kids checked out the tears came streaming down her face. With a few extra hugs and kisses she seemed to be comforted and excited to see her new home. The girls welcomed her in with loving arms and were so eager to show her all around. Momma Guerda stepped right in and showed her how the showers and toilets work and where her brand new bed was. She was all smiles and so excited to be home!  

and 

Petit-Homme

 

He is a lively little boy with a gentle heart. When we first got there to pick him up he was very sad. His grandma was there with him and he was holding a picture of his dad and his aunt. Naturally he was very timid around me and not really sure what to think. But I knew that all changed when we were in the truck. We were sitting in the backseat of the truck and out of nowhere he leaned into me. My heart sank a little bit knowing this boy who was so timid and shy and came from such a rough place wanted to be close to me. A few minutes later his little head laid on my shoulder. My heart melted. I knew in that moment that he would have a special place in my heart. 

The kids were so great and welcoming! They jumped in and made them feel right at home! 

Our favorite pastor having a heart to heart with them making sure they had Jesus in their hearts and gave them each their own bibles! 

 We are so blessed to have these two amazing children join our family at Grace Village! 

Only God could get us through this day...

I don't even know where to beginning to describe to you about this day...It started off as one of those blah days...it has cloudy and super cold! It was 73 degrees and for around here that's cold! It made we want to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away!

Of course that did not happen...we had lots of things to do and accomplish for the day. One of our little guys had hurt his wrist the day before so we were working on trying to get him into the doctor for an x-ray but also needed to get to the guesthouse to pick up somethings for one of our elderly and drop off some stuff for Jean. Kathy went with Etienne our driver, one of our guardians and the little guy.

Meanwhile I was tackling things back at Grace Village. One of our wonderful workers, Lynoue, had purchased this little pot/cooking thing for Ofane. About two weeks ago when he was up at Grace Village (Ofane comes up 3x's a week to get his bandaged changed on his foot because he has a big opened wound from his leprosy).  I had sent him home with some Ramen noodles (thanks to Karla Olimb who had sent me down about 3 big boxes of them!! ;) ). When he was up here last week he was telling me about how much he loved them and kept calling it spaghetti and that it was so good but he couldn't cook; he had to have someone else cook. So when I was sending him home with some more he asked if we could buy him one of these little cooker things. I asked Lynoue about it and she knew exactly what he was talking about. So today when she came back from the market she came to our door with a cooker for Ofane! I had no idea she was going to purchase it for him and to be honest I had completely forgot about it (I tend to have a really bad memory unless I write it down!). So of course I wanted to deliver it to him right away!

So off Carolle (the women who takes care of our elderly), Jonas (the man who drives the kubota for us and helps take care of the elderly and does everything in between) and I started off to Ofane's house. On our way some lady flagged us down and said you need to go to Ofane's house his foot is bleeding very bad. So she and another man jumped in the back of the kubota and off we went.

As we continued on I just prayed that the Lord would protect him and watch over us and give us strength. And more than ever the Lord was with us today!

When I heard about this issue I immediatley thought-'he's got leprosy and I don't have gloves on me how am i going to be able to help him while needing to protect myself as well. Lord help me!

We got to Ofane's house and as we pulled up he was walking out his front door. He did not look good and had blood seeping from his foot. I knew he had lost a lot of blood because when we got there he was so weak and looked like he was going to fall down.  So we got him into the front of the kubota and we tried to get him to eat some food and drink some water. Seconds later he passed out. With Ofane's brother sitting next to him and trying to hold him up, Jonas stepped on the gas and we headed off to Mission of Hope. It is about a 5 minute drive in the Kubota.

Again on the way there I was talking to Jesus and asking Him for His help and guidance and to be with Ofane. We got to MOH and like most Haitians even if it is an emergency you don't move or act like it's an emergency. So here I am this crazy white lady saying help us we need to get him inside. Veet! veet! (quick quick). We got him into a wheelchair and at this time he was with us again and we wheeled him inside. Not knowing enough Creole I told Carolle (she knows little English so we make a great team ;) ) to hurry up and go talk to them about Ofane and help him. When I got back there he was just sitting there.. no one attending to him! It made me want to scream..'do you see this man has a pool of blood at his foot! Help him.' Instead they just sat their and looked at him. I told Carolle again to tell them we needed help he has lost a lot of blood. I ran back to the Kubota because thankfully we had food in the kubuta that we were taking with us to give to other elderly. I opened up a thing of apple sauce and ran it back to Ofane. His brother was helping him eat it.

I ran back to the kubota because earlier this morning we had sent two of our children to MOH for some lab test with a guardian and they were waiting. I told them they could not leave yet just in case. I called Lynoue and told her what was happening.

As I was talking with them Carolle came out and said they needed money for a card for him. (In Haiti when you go to the doctor you have to pay for a card) Not having any money on me I panicked! Are you kidding me! We are practically neighbors and you are not going to see this man that we brought to you because he doesn't have a stinkin card that cost maybe $5 dollars. Then I realized that when we had sent the guardian this morning we had to send her with money for the lab tests. Thankfully she had money left over. So Carolle took the money inside and to be honest I don't even know if she got a card or not. But when I got back in there the Dr. had come out and was looking at him and said I'm sorry we can't do anything for him because we are a clinic not a hospital! Again, 'Are you kidding me!!' As they were talking I was trying to tell Carolle to tell them they need to bandage his foot! Come to find out this Dr. speaks English! So I asked her can we please just get someone to bandage his foot before we leave. So she had a lady come over and start bandaging his foot.

During the process of trying to bandage his foot I texted Kathy and asked them where they were! We continued to text back and forth. In the meantime I noticed that Ofane had vomited all over himself. Thankfully his brother was there and was such a blessing and cleaned him up.

Throughout the process I continued to talk to Ofane in my broken Creole and told he couldn't go to sleep, he needed to stay awake and that he needed to listen to me. "You are going to be ok Ofane" "God is going to help you!" "We are going to get you to the hospital" "Ofane look at me!" Ofane don't close your eyes" "Ofane can you hear me!" "Ofane I need you to look at me!" "Ofane God loves you and He is going to help you, we are all going to help you!" And anything else I could to keep him with me and not let him pass out.

At 11:53 he did pass out and to be honest at this moment I started to panic. I continued to talk to him but I was struggling. They started to try to put an IV in him because he had lost so much blood. Just then Kathy came running up (like us Americans do when there is an emergency ;) ). I explained to her that I didn't know what to do. They had been trying to put an IV in him and were not able to do it. They had taken his blood pressure and said he can't go anywhere until he gets an IV in him. 'Well then hurry up and get it in him for petes sake!!' Is what I was thinking.

As I was talking with Kathy we looked at him and he did not look good. He wasn't responding and it didn't look like he was breathing. As I was practically yelling in his face the nurse peeled open his eyelid. I was freaked. It was only a few seconds but if felt like 5 minutes. In a matter of seconds I had a million things running through my mind; what if eyes are rolled back, what if he doesn't wake up, is he dead, is he really going to die right here in front of me, this can't be happening and who knows what else I was thinking! As she peeled his eyelid back his eyeball was right there which was great but also a little creepy as well... but we still had nothing..the nurse pounded on his chest a little bit and I was like seriously your going to just give him a couple pounds on the chest and thats it?! Thankful a few seconds later he opened his eyes! This continued on like this for the next 45 minutes or so.

They tried putting the IV in for almost an hour!!! I kid you not it was an hour! While all this is going on Kathy and I keep asking each other if we should just go to the hospital and just forget the stupid IV!

By this time he was starting to spunk up a little bit. We had him smiling and talking a little bit while Kathy and I were busy talking with him and Kathy was dancing away and every once in awhile I'd have to do a little jig just to make him smile. It was a little glimps of the Ofane that we know and love!

Throughout this whole ordeal we were connecting with Lynoue back up at Grace Village and sent Jonas back there to take the other two kids and guardian back and to get our nurse and send down some blankets and bring the medical kit because he was going to have to be transported in the truck to the hospital in PAP.

So finally when we had given up on the IV I was talking to Ofane about Jesus and God and how He was going to help him and He loves him. The nurse chimed in and asked Ofane if he had accepted Christ? Um... I thought well of course Ofane knows Jesus. He comes up 3 times a week and teams go and visit him and pray with him. But Ofane's response was "poco" meaning 'not yet'. I immediately jumped in on this conversation and started talking to Ofane about Jesus and asked him if he knew that Jesus loved him and that He died for him and he said 'wi'. I said Ofane do want Jesus in your heart? Do you want to accept Jesus into your heart? He said 'wi.' I told him to repeat after me and said something to fact of, "I want Jesus in my heart. I know He died for me and I know He loves me. I accept Jesus in my heart." (The conversation went something like that with the nurse chiming in here and there to help Ofane understand my broken Creole). When we were finished I told Ofane I was so happy that he had Jesus in his heart and that Jesus loved him and may God bless him! I said "Ofane do you know Jesus is going to help you and that He did help you today!" He said, "wi, mesi Jezi!!" Thank you Jesus is right!!

So we sent him off to the hospital in PAP after getting him some special drink they call 'malta' for him.  Kathy and I could not go to the hospital because we are white so it always causes a big ruckus. But they ended up not seeing him there anyways! ugh! Thankfully the doctor who works for us was still at his clinic and was able to see him!

Ofane ended up coming back up to Grace Village this evening with an IV in and spunky as ever! Pastor Wesley came up and talked with him and prayed with him. We are thankful that our nurse is willing to spend the night to keep an eye on him and make sure that he is ok.

Ofane and Pastor Wesley having a heart to heart about God! 

I can't begin to tell you all the times God showed up today!

-He made sure our Kubota was working today (we often have problems with it)
-He had Lynoue buy this cooking pot for Ofane.
-He had me eagerly wanting to give it to him.
-He put the lady in our path who told us about Ofane.
-He had me bring my iphone with to see Ofane.
-He had his brother there ready to help.
-He had the people at MOH help stop the bleeding.
-He had the internet on Kathy's phone work even though she doesn't have any minutes and wasn't able to receive text this morning even when she had wifi. There is no way that she should have received any of my text messages today because she just ran out of internet on her phone. But today it worked and we were able to communicate! Thank you Jesus. I honestly don't think that I would have been able to make it today if she hadn't been there.
-He worked it out that we were able to scrounge up some money.
-He worked it out so that we could get to Dr. Sem's and they were able to put an IV in him.
-He gave me the strength to sit and look at Ofane's blood for hours.
-He gave me the wisdom to know what to do.
-He reminded me how important it was for me to keep Ofane awake and say whatever I could to him.
-He brought Ofane to Christ. Ofane had gone to church in the past but sounds like he had never accepted Christ. Thankful that today he did.

We were so happy to have him back up at Grace Village and to see his spunk come back and watch him interact with the kids. 

Ofane hanging out and getting his IV while we got his bed ready for him. He was all tucked in nice and cosy with our nurse standing by incase anything happened. Prayers for Ofane tonight!!



I'm sure there a million other things that God orchestrated that I don't even know about!! It was a good reminder that God works all things out for the good of those who love Him!

Cheering for having Jesus in his heart! Love it how the light is shining down on him in this photo!! God's light sure was shining down on him today!! 

When we were talking with Ofane at Grace Village he was saying how he needed more spaghetti to cook in his new cooker and some charcoal. I said, "Ofane I will only give you more spaghetti and buy you some charcoal if you let me come over while you cook." He happily accepted my offer. We then turned it into that it will be a party. Kathy, Lynoue and I will all come and we will celebrate him having Jesus in his heart!! We'll bring brownies and Kathy even offered to bring him a Limonade! 

Today was a day filled with more emotions than one girl needs to experience in a day. But in the end, by the grace of God it was a good day.