Mark 10:27 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”As I have been continuing to prepare for this journey God has continued to open up doors and shown me the way. He has shown me what it means to truly surrender and have faith.
I don’t think I have ever had an experience like this one in my life; the experience where I know I’m on God’s track and God’s timing rather than my own and to completely trust that He WILL provide for me along every step. He has providing for me this far and I fully trust He will continue to provide.
It was a couple of weeks ago when we were doing some figuring of student numbers in our department at work; as a teacher the question is always, "Will I have a job or not?" Even though I’m tenured the question always remains. There is so much uncertainty especially with me being on the bottom of the totem pole. However, once again in this job situation God reminded me that He’s in control and He is taking care of me. In February I submitted my request for a leave of absence. I was granted the leave before we really knew what our student numbers looked like for next year. Me being granted a leave of absence was clearly a God thing. It turns out that if I hadn’t requested and been granted a leave of absence from my job I would not have a position in our department. We had to cut two teachers because our student numbers were so low. However, since I was already granted my leave of absence the cuts didn’t affect me. When I come back I will still be employed (well if I come back..I guess that’s all part of God’s plan for all this). What it comes down to is that God is in control and He is watching over me.
Before I made the decision that would go to Haiti my biggest concern was alway finding someone to rent out my townhouse. My thought was if I can find a renter I’ll say yes and I’ll go for the year because I know everything will be taken care of. Well God had a different plan for me that called me to step out into faith and trust in Him to provide. This was extremely hard and scary for me, but I knew with all my heart that God wanted me in Haiti and that's where I was called to go. So I stepped out in faith and made the commitment to go to Haiti and had to trust that God would provide the perfect renter for my place. So from there on out it was in God’s hands that He would continue to provide for me. Low and behold He came through once again. God you are so good and You continue to amaze me throughout this journey.
I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life where I have been more sure of what I was doing and where I supposed to be until now. This whole journey has been so incredible because along the way I have had undoubted faith that God would provide for my every need. That doesn’t mean that there haven't been times where I was anxious or concerned. But when I had those feelings they quickly went away because in my heart I know I am right where I am supposed to be. At times it has been hard because I never imagined myself in this position. I had always hoped and dreamed that by now I’d be married and have little kiddos of my own running around, but now I’m going to be the mom to 43+ kiddos and they are going to fill me up with more joy and happiness than I can ever imagine. Jeff sent me a text on Mother’s Day and said ‘Happy Mother’s Day...’ ‘You are going to be the mother to 43 children...’ ‘I guess you could say you’re “expecting”...’ :)
I know with my whole heart that this is the path God has me and I am certain He has a perfect plan for my life. It may not be my plan, but that’s what makes it perfect. He knows so much more and knows exactly what I need. There are brief moments where I become anxious about the year ahead but I quickly come back to what I know and trust and that is; God is in control and He is going to be with me every step of the way. He is good and faithful. With Him all this are possible!
